A Rogue One Rebuttal: the Imperial Archives on Scarif

NOTE: This post contains spoilers for Star Wars: Rogue One. You have been warned.

Scarif - Photo credit: Lucasfilm/ILM

©2016 Lucasfilm Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

Whether you loved it, found it full of problems, or a bit of both (raises hand) Star Wars: Rogue One has made a big splash and inspired lots of punditry. One of the things that has spurred plenty of discussion is the depiction of the Imperial military archives on Scarif. The moment that scene played out on screen, I smiled inwardly: "Everyone on the internet is going to HATE this."

It's no secret that, with few exceptions, film, television, and fiction at large does an utterly loathsome job at depicting computer science and IT accurately. Beloved cyberpunk classics like The Matrix, Hackers, or Swordfish, are confusing and anachronistic at best. Star Wars as a franchise deserves plenty of ire for its depictions of technology, which can be especially odd (possibly because Star Wars is more "fantasy in space" than traditional sci-fi).

Indeed, in addition to the many other takes on the problems of Rogue One, writers from Vice: Motherboard and archival consulting firm Preservica, in particular have weighed in on the archives scenes. The criticisms are, admittedly, mostly for fun. However, I sensed that a lot of the problems people had with the Scarif scenes could be easily hand-waved away with plausible explanations. And while defending problems with Star Wars movies is pretty much the opposite of my usual MO, I must admit that, in this case, I'm too tempted to weigh in with my own IT perspectives.

Without further ado, let's dive in:

The Case of Canadian Cable Cutter and the Content Copyrights Catch-22

"I banish thee, foul cord! Trouble me no further!"

Hi, my name is Jesse, and I'm a cable-cutter.

You've likely heard the term before. If not, allow me to enlighten you: Cable-cutters (or Cord-cutters) are those of us who have chosen to forgo exorbitant monthly cable TV bills in preference of various internet-based streaming services and other sources of content. Our numbers are growing every year. Cable television, to us, is an anachronistic concept; one in which we pay for tons of content we never watch, and the content we do want is played piecemeal at scheduled times.

This is the era of streaming: we watch as much of whatever we want, whenever we want to.

Parable of the Violin... and also Star Trek

One of the greats...

A stage - empty but for a spotlight and a stradivarius violin: one of the world's finest.

Onto that stage walks Joshua Bell, arguably one of the world's finest violinists. He picks up the instrument, and begins to play...

Over the next five minutes, he draws out a heart-rending lyrical melody, angry and passionate fireworks, perfect chromatic scales that leave other musicians agog. Bell brings the music to a dynamic, tonal, and emotional crescendo. The climax of the music is palpable.